Dr. Seuss stories have a way of simplifying complex issues in ways that even Democrats can understand. Why, even the classic "Sneetches" story has been used to teach racial tolerance to Bosnians.
Here, we adapt the Sneetch story in ways that help children understand who and what Barack Obama is. We start by reminding our readers that Sylvester McMonkey McBean and his Star On/Star Off machine was tremendously successful in duping those just looking for change. Instead, they simply parted with what little change they had.
The Amazing Obama Flip Flop MachineAnd now, a preview of "McCain I Am"
When I ran in Ohio I said I'd can NAFTA. Now that I won, I really don't hafta.
Gun control was the rule when I ran in DC. Now I think guns are totally cool.
I pledged to support campaign finance restrictions. But that went like some of my other great fictions.
I could not disown Rev. Wright at first. But later I learned there were more votes in the reverse.
A FISA filibuster was high on my list. Now, I think I'd rather desist.
I said I would debate anytime, anywhere. But my advisers think I'd better not dare.
I count on my minions, the Obama supporters, they get so confused yet still give their quarters.
Not a flinch. Not a flicker. Not a hint of shame. It's all part of playing the Obama game.
If there's an issue you can bet I will try it: on both sides at once and voters will buy it.
You've watched me spin and now you are dizzy. But I don't really care if you're in a tizzy.
So many lies and all my jive. McCain can't stop me, he's like a hundred and five.
McCain's still trying to get some traction. But when he points to my lies, I just call it a "distraction."
I laugh and I smile and charm the voters relentless. And in November, I hope they're defenseless.
If I con enough voters before they catch on, I'll have a big party on the White House lawn.
In this tale, the classic "Green Eggs and Ham" has been adapted with the title "McCain I Am."
Here's a taste:
MCCAIN I AM: Will you debate me? Will you please? How about we do it on TV?
OBAMA: I will not debate you on TV. I will not debate you in a tree. I will not debate here or there. I will not debate you anywhere. I will dodge and I will weave, but I will not open my mouth and watch my supporters leave. I will not debate you now or later. I won't debate you in an elevator.
And Coming Soon: