Close Gitmo? O.K. Fine by Me

Last week the propaganda mill to close the U.S. prison for unlawful combatants on Guantanamo in Cuba reached high squeal. First that report from way left of center Amnesty International which called Gitmo the "Gulag of our times" in reference to the Soviet Union's prison system where millions died. Next, Senator Joseph Biden went on "This Week", the Sunday show that nobody watches, and pontificated that Gitmo should be closed.

Next, Mr. Human Rights, Jimmy Carter echoed that same sentiment. But Mr. Human Rights' time as president showed he did a lot of talking with very little result. Ask Natan Sharansky, the Soviet Refusenik and a Gulag prisoner during President Carter's mercifully short four year term who brought hope to that dark world and he won't hesitate to answer: RONALD REAGAN. Students of history will recall that Reagan was opposed in liberating Eastern Europe and winning the cold war by the same bunch of "useful idiots" that still stand in the way of any effective American action to bring freedom and peace to the world.

We've all seen battered Volkswagens and Volvos pasted over with every leftie slogan in the books and we know that if we were to accede to this request it won't make the slightest difference to the neosocialists and the high priests of their leftwing religion of Bush hate.

But I'm willing to give it a try anyway, so here goes:

Any person with a hint of sanity left (this would exclude the group in the above paragraph) knows that you can't just let these monsters go to start beheading more innocent people, blowing up school buses and killing anyone who doesn't convert to their vile brand of Islam. But we can give them a choice:

A. You can stay at Gitmo where the American taxpayer will provide you with an airconditioned cell, three meals a day of your favorite food (I hear goat's eyes are a considered a delicacy), exercise yard with volleyball, a Koran that Americans will only touch with rubber gloves (as required in Dept. of Defense rules), prayer rugs and plenty of time to pray.

or

B. We can return you to the country that captured you. We will pay that country what we would spend to keep you at Gitmo, but it will be up to them how you are treated. They must agree never to let you go unless we say so. A model for one of these camps would be the detention centers run by Fidel Castro just a few short miles from Gitmo.

Given the choice between a real Gulag where you live in your own filth depreived of every ounce of human dignity and an American day camp in the Caribean, we can imagine that most Gitmo detainees would rather stay.

However, we want the world to know that you are being offered this choice freely. So those who wish to remain must read a statement verifying that they prefer our humane and generous terms for detention over the alternative. Since these people are not prisoners of war as defined by the Geneva Convention there is nothing to prohibit them from making this voluntary statement. No, this won't be a press conference with the liberal press, just a taped statement... Sorry, no opportunity for leftwing grandstanding allowed.

With this matter finally settled, Jimmy Carter and Amnesty International could turn their attention back to the North Korean and Cuban Gulags... and they might want to mention the Chinese prison system while they are at it. Apparently the Holiday Inn at Gitmo is keeping these fine people from getting much done about real Gulags. Now they'd have no excuse.